Makin' a List of Holiday Movies

A Filmgoer's Guide to Holiday Movie Chestnuts

Some call ‘em hackneyed clichés', but I like to think of these recurring holiday movie scenes as lovable ‘chestnuts', like an old friend you look forward to seeing every year who perhaps goes by the name of ‘spiked egg nog'. Vince Vaughn's hilarious Fred Claus is the first holiday movie to grace our local cinemas. (A six foot eight dude surrounded by elves? That's just plain funny.) So before you strap on your mittens and head to the theatres for the holiday movie season, grab a cup of hot cocoa and check out these chestnuts so you know what you're in for.

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT # 1:
The spirit of Christmas compels neighbors to outdo each other in creating the best holiday lighting display in town.

CLASSIC EXAMPLE: Deck the Halls

What is it about holiday movies and lights? Colored lights, white lights, even Rudolph's nose is a light. Despite this film's flaws, watching Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick duel it out over who can put up the most impressive display of lights is a memorable sight. As the tension builds, it can only mean one thing: yup, you guessed it - someone is about to fall off the roof! For some reason, this kind of scene never fails to make me laugh. (No humans are hurt during filming, as they always land in a perfectly placed snow bank.)

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT # 2:
Old people always say funny things at the holiday dinner table.

CLASSIC EXAMPLE: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Before Chevy Chase (as Clark W. Griswold) carves into the Christmas turkey, you know he's going to ask grandma to say the blessing.  It's just too good an opportunity because she's old, confused and can't do anything other than recite the pledge of allegiance. Old people plus inappropriate behavior equals comedy gold!

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT #3:
The holidays are doubly poignant when a movie character is dying of cancer.

CLASSIC EXAMPLE: The Family Stone

I hate it when I'm enjoying the light fare of a nice holiday movie when suddenly: plot twist: it's revealed someone has cancer!  I guess when it's announced that [SPOILER ALERT!] Diane Keaton is dying of cancer in The Family Stone I'm supposed to be reminded that life is fragile. But I can't because I'm too busy wishing I was Sarah Jessica Parker who has Dermot Mulroney and Luke Wilson fighting over her. Maybe she's under a magical piece of mistletoe I'm just not seeing.

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT #4:
Dying people craft some of the best homemade Christmas gifts!

CLASSIC EXAMPLE: Stepmom

At the moment when Susan Sarandon gives her son a homemade velvet cape for Christmas hours before her impending death, I was thinking:  Who knew lying on your death bed would free up so much time to stitch, knit and quilt? I just assumed the tubes for the oxygen mask would keep getting tangled with the knitting needles.

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT #5:
A fat girl always finds love around the holidays with an insanely out-of-their-league man who sees beyond her love handles.

CLASSIC EXAMPLES: Bridget Jones's Diary; Love, Actually

Going to the movies is about escapism, wish fulfillment, living in a fantasy and there is no bigger fantasy than a fat girl scoring the hottest guy in a holiday movie. Because this never happens in real life. But you know it's going to happen to pleasingly plump Renee Zwelleger in Bridget Jones's Diary. After getting rejected by the love of her life Mark Darcy, (Colin Firth), the Brit dreamboat shows up on New Year's Eve to tell her he loves her too. In Love, Actually, Hugh Grant gets his portly secretary, Natalie reassigned when he finds himself attracted to her, only to realize during the holidays he misses her and sets out to find her. Maybe this is why Hugh Grant's movies are so popular, we're all waiting for Hugh to come find us. Ah… fantasies.

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT # 6:
Christmas won't be saved until a major character believes that someone from the North Pole is telling the truth.  

CLASSIC EXAMPLES: Elf, Miracle On 34th Street, The Santa Clause  

How do you move an audience this season? Invoking our fondest childhood memories of the holidays usually does the trick. There is something in the air during the season that is, dare I say, magical. In the movie Elf, innocent and naïve Will Ferrell (as Buddy) asks about favorite colors. In this fast-paced world, it's nice to be reminded of the simpler times of childhood when life wasn't so complicated and the most pressing issue was picking a favorite color, not a 401K retirement plan. I'm also a sucker for the magic of Will Ferrell in tights.

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT # 7:
If you think you're flying to Chicago for the holidays, think again.

CLASSIC EXAMPLES: Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Home Alone

This is my all-time favorite chestnut. Watching Steve Martin and the late John Candy trying to get from New York to Chicago in time for Thanksgiving dinner is a joyous holiday ritual for me. You will never laugh so hard, as one hysterical calamity after the next befalls them. The mom in Home Alone also tries to get back to Chicago, leaving her son, Kevin behind and goes through a series of adventures in order to get there. Film fun fact: They're trying to get to the same exact house! Both movies were written by John Hughes and used the same house in the suburbs of Chicago as their filming location. Who knew holiday travel at its worst could be so fun to watch?

HOLIDAY MOVIE CHESTNUT # 8:
When you finally realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and need to tell them, it's New Year's Eve and there are no cabs in New York City.  

CLASSIC EXAMPLE: When Harry Met Sally

Not being able to get a cab when you desperately need one is a disaster, but when it happens at the denouement of When Harry Met Sally, it's just a delightful amping up of romantic drama. But Harry doesn't give up and say, "oh forget it, I'll get a good nights sleep and tell Sally I love her tomorrow." No, it's New Year's Eve, and he's got to tell her so he can kiss her when the ball drops. Thankfully all the cabs are unavailable because if he took a cab, he'd arrive at 10:45 p.m., tell Sally everything and then the kiss would come at like 11 p.m., which would completely defeat the purpose of setting it on New Year's Eve. This is the moment we've all been waiting for and it has to happen at midnight. It doesn't get any better than this.

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